I really get a kick out of strange signs... I'm not referring here to the metaphysical type, which often refer to synchronicities or guidance from one's guides... but rather to those that have either contextual or grammatical errors or meanings that provide mirth or consternation. Here's an example: while visiting Wrangell, Alaska, we dropped in on the local market. I looked at the sign above the door, the sign painted on a delivery van, and even my register receipt to confirm the name of the grocery: Bobs' Market. I asked my cousin Jim if there were more than one Bob, but he confirmed that there was only one. I suspect that Bob's high school English teacher must be rolling in her grave...
My high school English teacher, Mr. Langlois, is part of the reason that I have long been sensitive to poor punctuation, particularly regarding the use of commas and apostrophes. I hadn't thought much about this until I received a gift from Beth and Mike Pasakarnis - a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves, by Lynne Truss. The title refers to a joke - a panda walks into a cafe, orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air. A waiter asks, "Why?", as the panda heads for the door. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife book, tosses it over his shoulder, and says, "I'm a panda; look it up." The waiter turns to the appropriate entry, which states, "Panda. Large black and white bear-like mammal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves." I will officially thank Beth and Mike here for connecting me with the greater community of correct punctuation sticklers, otherwise known as "comma and apostrophe nerds".

Lest a prudish reader assume that Your Faithful Correspondent is being crude, rude and socially unacceptable in the fourth subtitle (Size Does Matter), let me dispel their concerns by referring them to this photo of our coach alongside a very cute and fully functional trailer with the following sign on its rear: "I go where I'm towed to." I decided not to comment to the trailer's owner that ending a sentence with a preposition is "wrong, wrong, wrong", as drilled into my noggin by Coach Charlie Myers, my high school Latin teacher. He also taught me not to insult or pick fights with guys bigger than I/me/myself. (Pick your ending.) Coach had received his grammar training in a Jesuit high school, and you don't mess with Jesuits!
- the Navajo refer to them as chindii, the spirits or ghosts of dead Navajos
- the Australian term willy-willy is believed to be a derivation of an Aboriginal word meaning a bad spirit that often disciplines (or abducts) children who misbehave
- in the Middle East, they are called djin, genies or devils
- in Egypt, the fasset al 'afreet translates as a ghost's wind
- the Kenyan Kikuyu tribe calls it a ngoma cia aka, or women's devil/demon
(I was loath to include the Kikuyu interpretation, as some might accuse me of gender discrimination, but since my head is still ringing from the mosquito-related Smack!, I figured, "What the heck...")
Finally, My Lovely Bride is about to abandon me. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. She is about to fly back home to enjoy a week with her Lovely Sister Janice and her Lovely Mom Ruthie. Suzanne and Ruthie share a birthday on August 1, and Janice will visit from West Chester, PA for the festivities. I have alerted all of the local girlie hangouts to be prepared for the arrival of the Three Wild Things. I hope that their escapades will not get so rowdy that the local constabulary has to be called in, but you know how girls get when they are on their own...
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