A Hateful Place; Two Naked Blondes; SWAT Team; Biker Doc; Lake Louise; The Blue Death…

We arrived here in Lake Louise, Alberta (pop. 500), one of Canada’s smallest but most popular, stunning and romantic locations, on Wednesday afternoon. Our campsite is in what we euphemistically call “A Hateful Place”… out the front window is a beautiful mountain river, blue-green with rock powder, and roaring along at about 6-7 mph just 40 yards from our front door. Out the side window is Mt. Temple, 10,401 ft., with a hanging glacier to admire over dinner. Just before dinner, in fact, we had walked the river trail, admiring the stream, the forest and the mountains, and wishing that we had seen some wildlife before going inside The Coach for dinner.

I was just washing up after another delicious Chicken Marsala, and glancing out at the river, only a few seconds walk away, two naked blondes ran by – that’s right, they had absolutely no clothes on. As you might guess, this caught my attention… Normally I might say to My Lovely Bride, “Excuse me, Sweetheart, I‘ll be back in a few minutes. I need to go interview some subjects for the blog and capture some photos while the light’s still good. You stay here and work on your computer.” But these were not two “normal naked blondes” - they were 250 pounders! I shouted, “Grizzlies! Two just ran right to left down the river trail!” Suzanne grabbed her camera, and I grabbed our can of bear spray, and the hunt began. It wasn’t long before the rangers arrived to use their truck and horn to keep the bears out of the campground itself where campers were dining on their picnic tables, blissfully unaware of the two Ursus ursus wandering through the woods a few yards from their hamburgers. Suzanne was able to get a few decent distant photos, a couple of bear butts but one really good one of a grizzly looking right at her through the brush. Fortunately, he wasn’t aggressive, probably due to the rangers’ truck horn blasting.

When the local SWAT Team arrived, I knew we were perfectly safe. You would feel safe, too, when an armed Predator drone arrived overhead, followed by a military armored car with eight fully armed, 300 lb., 6’ 8”, muscle-bound hulks in cammies, body armor, machine guns, bayonets, ammo bandoliers, gas masks, stun grenades, and steel helmets, who then put themselves between you and imminent danger from two raging wild grizzlies.

 

 

 

Wait… that might not have been an accurate description of our Canadian protectors. The SWAT Team, arriving in a small pick-up truck, was comprised of one part-time, summer park ranger, Jessica, who stood only 5’4”, weighed maybe 110 lbs, had on khaki shorts, blouse and hiking boots, and was carrying a radio, a traffic ticket pad, one can of bear spray, and this evil-looking rifle that fired compressed air bubble blanks (no projectiles or bullets at all) that made the noise of a .22 cal. but couldn’t injure anything or anyone unless she stuck the barrel in its eye. After asking all the turistas to please stand back, she marched confidently toward the two grizzlies and shouted at them to go away, occasionally firing her air rifle skyward for emphasis. The two hairy beasts took her meaning and ambled off deeper into the woods. (This is the woman with whom you want to go backpacking and tent camping in an African game park when the lions are hungry!)

 

After dinner, we took the puppies for a drive to Lake Louise itself. From studying the map, we had imagined a relatively small hotel and a huge lake… but reality was just the opposite. A medium-size but beautiful blue-green lake and an enormous hotel complex at one end, with one canoe rental pier and a mile long lakeside trail leading to several other dirt and rock backcountry trails.  The base rate for rooms here is $600 per night.

 

 

 

 

But what was most stunning were the mountains, arêtes, and glaciers surrounding the lake on all sides. It was crowded at the hotel area, but once you walked a few hundred yards along the lake path, the crowd (and their obnoxious noise) thinned out by 90%. Here are Suzanne, Rudy and Gretchen enjoying a moment of solitude with the lake and mountains in the background. We were so taken by the area that we immediately extended our stay until Monday. We also decided on a 10-12 mile hike up one of these mountains for the next day, Thursday… I had laid out most of the hiking gear we would need: bear spray, first aid kit, bear spray, food, water, bear spray, rain jackets and bear spray… but it’s funny how two tiny mistakes can have drastic consequences.

On Thursday morning, Hiker Chick held early reveille so we could beat the crowds to the trailhead. I was leaning down to put on my running shoes, and snap, for My First Mistake, I felt a flash of severe pain and knew my lower back muscles had gone out. The last time this had happened was a year ago at Mt. Shasta in northern California. Lake Louise Village is very small, with only about ten shops total, one market, a liquor store, two clothing stores, a bookstore, a bakery, a couple of eateries, and a gift shop. It took several hours to get an appointment at the one medical clinic here, which is only open afternoons, and mostly treats ski injuries in winter and hikers ankle sprains in summer.  Dr. Nottebrock prescribed some meds and bed rest for 2-3 days, and even has the only small pharmacy in town. Coincidentally, he is a delightful person, extraordinarily fit, and an expert mountain biker who also owns two bike shops in British Columbia. So now I am semi-horizontal on the couch, working on the blog and trying to make a reasonably quick recovery so I don’t miss out on all the hiking here in Lake Louise.

So, what was Act Two in Ty’s Lake Louise Disaster? You’ve probably heard of the Black Death, the plague carried by rats from China that killed 1/3 of the population of Europe but also “thinned the herd” and led to the Renaissance? Well, this was not so tragic, but… Last week, Computer Guru Suzanne suggested that I back up my hard drive on a portable unit that she was no longer using, having switched to Carbonite, the on-line backup system. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it soon…” Then last night, I booted my (previously) faithful Dell and “Arrgh… the Blue Screen of Death!” Okay, I’ll simply reboot, and all will be well with the world. 20 reboot attempts later, nada… zip… zilch! My computer will not restart. I am in Deep Doo-Doo.


 

I placed a phone call to my dedicated Information Technology Support Team, AKA My Lovely Daughter Elisabeth, who is not only a computer graphics artist and expert skier and mountaineer, but who also ran Texas A&M’s computer lab for two years. My problem description resulted in a grim, highly technical computer diagnosis and prognosis, but I will only include my interpretation of her IT bottom line: (a) my computer is toast; (b) I’m screwed; (c) I should cut my losses and buy a new computer. A very high tech Dell support team may be able to save the thousands of photos on my hard drive, but that will likely take a week or more at one of their facilities back in a large US city. There is no such facility in the back of the lone pizza shop here in Lake Louise, darn it! Consequently, we are time-sharing Suzanne’s computer in a town with only two Wi-Fi spots: a coffee shop and the Post Office.



Since I am on my back for a few days here in the wilds of the Canadian Rockies, I am also ergonomically-challenged, so I will apologize in advance for the paucity and quality of the blog until my recovery. I sincerely hope that you will bear with me (no pun intended) until I am back in battery physically and technologically. Until then, donations and flowers may be sent to the Asylum for the Impudent, Imprudent and Feeble-Minded.   

 

Elk Bridge; A Sexy Magpie, or Not? Where Caribou and Muskrat Meet; Hiker Chick; Inkpots; Lamby Chops

Here in Canada, they take their wildlife seriously. That doesn’t mean that Friday and Saturday nights in the bars are sacrosanct (but don’t look for a Budweiser where Labatts is sold, eh?). What I meant was that wild animals are protected here. For example, this is a wildlife crossing, primarily for migrating elk, moose and mule deer, as well as black and grizzly bears. It crosses above busy Canada Route 1, the Trans-Canada Highway, reducing the impact of car/truck/bus/motorcycle collisions with 1,200 lb critters. 

A few kilometers before arriving in Banff (why did the Canadians adopt the ridiculous metric system, anyway? Did they totally forget their English roots?), you pass this viewpoint above Second Vermillion Lake (there are three Vermillion Lakes, one more beautiful than the next)... I don’t think that there are many highways in the world with more striking views than this. 

This sign is just beyond the exit ramp for the town of Banff. Makes you wonder if you’ll see a big grizzly at McDonalds, chowing down on a Big Mac. “Hey, he can have my seat!”  

The town of Banff is actually pretty small, occupying a beautiful location along the Bow River, another blue-green glacial river that makes you want to set up a tent alongside it and spend your life musing about your place in the Universe or unrequited loves... or maybe becoming a professional hiker or ski bum. Banff is actually a very international town. Most of the service staff here are young people from places as diverse as Australia, Croatia, Poland, Ukraine, Germany, Switzerland, and Estonia. For example, we were driving back from a hike when the skies were turning dark and ominous with an approaching thunderstorm. On a lonely stretch of highway, we passed a young woman running. We slowed to her pace, and Suzanne opened her window and said, “I’m not sure you noticed the thunderstorm about to catch up to you. Would you like a ride? It’s a long way to wherever it is your going.” The young woman said, “Thanks, but I’m fine.” We proceeded on a few miles to our coach, and just as we arrived, the temperature dropped about 20 degrees and the wind and rain began in earnest, and you could hear thunder in the distance. Obviously thinking about our daughter Susan, Suzanne looked at me with a very concerned look and asked, “Should I go back and ask her again?” “Yes, of course, go ahead”, I replied. She drove back in a downpour and again asked the girl if she wouldn’t like a ride back home, which now she gratefully accepted. She was from Estonia, and who knows? Maybe Suzanne saved someone else’s daughter that day. 

While walking in Banff with Rudy and Gretchen, Suzanne caught this magpie hiding in some shrubs in downtown Banff. Normally I would give you the Latin name for this beautiful bird, as well as some interesting facts about its feeding and mating habits. (The latter facts seem to be more popular, for some reason.)  Anyway, because we are “Internet-challenged” here in the middle of the Canadian Rockies - we have to drive to McDonald’s to use their Wi-Fi, and there are no electrical outlets, so battery power is an issue - I regret that I cannot tell you whether the magpie is a quiet prude or a raucous sexpot. I shudder to think what some readers’ imaginations are doing right now. 

Just around the corner from the magpie was this street corner sign. My first thought was of a wildlife bar out in the woods, sort of like in the original Star Wars movie, where a caribou and a muskrat are sitting down for a friendly cocktail... since they are both herbivores, might they be drinking “Muskegaritas”? (My Lovely Bride really groaned over that one...) 

On Monday morning, Hiker Chick decided that her hubby needed a challenge... so she picked an intermediate hike with only 330 m elevation gain (let’s see, 330 x 3.3 = 1089 feet) over 5.4 km (3.4 miles) = about a 6% grade. On highways, that’s when the signs say “trucks shift to lower gears”). (Hello! Has she forgotten that I’m on Social Security?) I wouldn’t say no to her for anything (well, let me think about that for a minute...), so I agreed, and off we went on one of the most popular hikes in Banff... for young people... like TEENAGERS! Here is Your Fearless Correspondent trudging up a very rooty, slippery slope. You will note the red canister on his right hip... that’s the industrial sized pepper spray. The joke here is that grizzly bear scat (poop) is usually sprinkled liberally with pepper. (I don’t think that’s a very funny joke at all.) 

The hike started up a very crowded paved trail to two waterfalls, Johnston Canyon Lower and Upper Falls. It is a small river which over the past 8,000 years has cut down through a hundred feet of limestone. I was initially disappointed by the pavement and the number of other tourists, but once past the upper falls, the trail turned to good old dirt, and the travelers diminished to a relative handful. (And they were mostly in their 20s and 30s!) These photos of the river and falls give you a sense of the beauty of the canyon, but it would be even nicer at dawn or dusk with no one else around. (Let’s see, it’s an hour drive, so (a) get up at 0425 to make it by dawn, or (b) sleep in until 0700 and have coffee and breakfast with Suzanne, Rudy and Gretchen... Duh, that’s a no brainer.) 

But really, the hike was worth the trip... here was the view from the ¾ point, about a mile past the waterfall. My Lovely Bride is obviously ecstatic about the scenery!

The trail name was “The Inkpots”. What was that about? Well, the end of the trail was this beautiful area of springs which literally bubbled out of the ground in a beautiful meadow. The “ink pot” appellation refers to the air bubbles which created inky circles in muddy water in five pools varying in size from 25 to 80 feet in diameter. 

So here we are, at the end of a long day of touring and hiking, in beautiful Banff, one of the most beautiful places we have ever visited, and it’s time for a glass of wine and a nice dinner of roast lamb chops, sautéed stoplight peppers, buttered rice, and a very tasty Sonoma Valley Leese-Fitch Cabernet Sauvignon. Bon appétit! 

Loonies, Toonies, and the Eh Team; Invermere; Moose Mania; Naked on a Harley; Banff

On Saturday, we left Whitefish, Montana, drove north, and departed the US just north of Eureka, Montana, at Canada’s Port of Roosville, British Columbia. We were shocked (and pleased) to find only three vehicles in line ahead of us. The line was much shorter than when crossing into Canada at Blaine, WA, north of Seattle. Of course we had to exchange our US dollars for Canadian. There are some readers who may not know about Loonies and Toonies. These terms do not refer to Canadians themselves (although some of our Canadian friends definitely qualify as “loonies”), but their one and two dollar coins. Loonies have a loon on them while toonies... well, they are two dollar pieces. And the Eh Team in the title above? It is the Canadian term for “right” or “isn’t it?” As in, “It’s a grand day, eh?”  Canadians are a wonderful people. They are very friendly, down to earth, generous and likeable; sort of like the folks you find in Missouri, Kansas and Nebraska. We are happy to be back visiting our northern neighbors again!  

We drove for an hour or so through ranchland and forests on the west slope of the Canadian Rockies toward our destination, Invermere, BC. As we got closer to the Continental Divide, the terrain began to get even more rugged, with BIG mountains towering above the rivers, lakes and forests to their west. 

Many of the rivers are a light greenish-blue color because they carry glacial silt from tributaries farther upstream. They also overflow their banks periodically, and there isn’t much development along the riverbanks. Canadians must be prudent people. 

We passed through some clouds of bugs, necessitating erecting our ladder so that our Dauntless Driver (Moi) could clean the windshield/windscreen for Canadians. You may note that ours is particularly large and impressive... (another instance where size does matter.) It makes for a wonderful panoramic view of the countryside and magnificent scenery we were about to transit, and we didn’t want to miss a single sight because of some yucky splatted insects. 

We arrived in Invermere, and after missing our objective, took an unexpected scenic tour of the town with our big rig.  Invermere is a charming lakeside tourist town of several thousand which swells to 8-10,000 during the summer. Because this was a three day weekend, all the campgrounds were full, so we ended up in a parking lot, with permission of the Canadian Tire store manager. CT is unlike a regular American tire store. It’s more like a mini-Wal-Mart, carrying garden supplies, outdoor clothing, canoes, fishing equipment, appliances, etc. This was the view from our parking lot home for the night... not too shabby, eh? 

While walking around town, we encountered this aggressive moose. Well, maybe he wasn’t that aggressive, but I thought he might be, unless I established that I was the alpha moose, or whatever that equates to in moose societal structure. (As many of my readers know, I have had many unfortunate wildlife encounters over the past two years, but I can assert that no moose was injured during this incident). 

We met a delightful Canadian lady, Marie, who had moved here for two years to get to know her granddaughter better. She was about to move back to Victoria, BC, which we had visited last month. Perhaps we will see her next summer when we return to Victoria, Nanaimo, and Vancouver Island. While Suzanne was meditating, I went on a short walkabout, and found this neat driftwood artwork on the wall of a closed shop. I may have been tempted to purchase it as a Christmas gift for My Lovely Bride, but alas, they were closed until after our scheduled departure time. 

As nice as Invermere was, we were anxious to head for our next destination, Banff National Park, Alberta. We were happy to have to enter Kootenay National Park to get to Banff. Kootenay is much less visited than Banff, but is also gorgeous. Here is the Marble River, which rushes down through a small gorge and past a 2003 forest fire burn with tens of thousands of dead trees on the lower slopes of several beautiful mountains. The fire was started by a lightning strike, very common out west (in the US and Canada) during summer thunderstorms when the forests are tinder-dry.

Suzanne got this photo of The Coach alongside the Marble River (down a steep bank) with towering mountains as a backdrop. As big as our motor home is, we feel dwarfed by the Canadian Rockies. 

We also stopped at the Marble Canyon trailhead for a hike upstream to a lovely waterfall. These photos don’t do it justice. I would recommend that you visit here and spend an hour contemplating nature and your place in it to get a better appreciation for the natural beauties of our planet. 

At a rest stop along the Kootenay highway, we met Rich and Lori Wright, a couple from Dayton, Ohio, riding their Harley-Davidson motorcycles. We learned that Rich is a retired policeman who specializes in tactical training for law enforcement officers. Knowing how hard it is to bring firearms across the Canadian border, I mentioned that he was probably not “packing” on this trip. He laughed and said, “No, I’m not, and after 30 years of carrying a weapon as a policeman, I feel naked!” (Rich, it’s not quite the same, believe me!) 

On Sunday afternoon, we arrived at our campground, Banff National Park’s Tunnel Mountain Village #2. The campground itself is sort of “minimalist” - we have a 30 amp electric hookup, water is close enough to reach with a couple of long hoses joined together, and there is only one holding tank (sewer) dump station (doesn’t sound real pleasant, does it?) . But this view from our coach window makes up for any lack of amenities. 

While Suzanne did a sunset meditation, I watched the shadows lengthen on Mt. Rundle (9,675 ft.) until the mosquitoes got a bit too aggressive. For you folks back in Florida, I want you to know that tropical skeeters  are puny wimps compared to their Canadian and Alaskan cousins... These evil creatures are as big as sparrows and meaner than wolverines! But the bites I got were well worth the opportunity to watch a mountain sunset here.  

Our first trip into downtown Banff was for two critical items: hiking trail maps and pepper spray. The reason for hiking trail maps is self-evident. As for the second item, no, I didn’t run out of seasoning for our omelets... this can of spray capsicum ($41.99) is supposed to be able to stop a charging adult grizzly bear. I’m hoping it never has to be used for its designed purpose! 

Mud in Your Eye? “I’ll Never Grow Up!” A Glacial Lake; "Hey, let go of my beard!" Soup of the Day!; Pizza anyone?

I ran out of time last night getting the blog posted before the midnight deadline, and didn’t include the closing part of our meal at the Whitefish Lake Golf Course Restaurant... The night was going quite well until our server brought out a beautiful mud pie with a birthday sparkler on top.  Mud pie is one of my favorite desserts, and Greedy Girl tried to corner the whole thing. Fortunately, I was able to distract her long enough to get my half (okay, maybe 2/3) safely inhaled. (She is commenting right now that, “Well, it was MY birthday!” So what’s her point?) 

I know many people think I robbed the cradle marrying My Lovely Bride, and perhaps this photo proves their point. She and Olive are tossing the ball back and forth, and I swear Suzanne was having even more fun than her great-niece! The only thing that kept Corvette Chick from playing on the swing set and jungle gym was the “4 foot height maximum” sign prominently posted there... I think she had adopted the lyrics in Taylor Swift's song, “I never want to grow up!”

While standing sentry duty, little Gretchen spied this doe nosing around Suzanne's playground equipment. Rudy soon joined her, and it was amazing that neither of them barked once at the doe or her fawns. They apparently live close by, because the yard had lots of what we euphemistically call "deer sign". (And they aren't displayed in large letters on poster board!) 

On a visit to Glacier National Park, we walked on the beach at Lake McDonald. The largest lake in the park, it is over 10 miles long, a mile wide, and up to 472 feet deep. These cairns just off the beach are stacks of glacial rocks worn smooth over the years by rivers of ice and rushing streams fed by those glaciers. The kayakers are enjoying a “mellow paddle” on a beautiful 75F sunny day. (Two days later it was raining, 55F and windy.) 

The lake is surrounded by forests of spruce, fir, and larch that abound with mule deer, moose, black and grizzly bears. The mountains in the background include Mt. Jackson, Blackfoot Mt., Gunsight Mt., Citadel Mt., Mt. Cannon, and Going-to-the-Sun Mt. Shawn has climbed most of these, and is a veritable font of knowledge about Glacier National Park. He is also a fabulous photographer. You should check out his web site at www.glacierhikers.com . 

This tree was washed off a stream bank near the lake, probably during the Spring snowmelt when small creeks roar with 10 times their normal volume. We used one of its big branches to keep our feet dry while crossing the stream. 

Suzanne got these beautiful photos, the first of some wildflowers along the trail, the second a closeup of the rock cairns in Lake McDonald, and the third of a log in the stream we crossed . She has a great "eye" for photography, and I think you'll be seeing a lot more of her photos in this blog! 

Suzanne also took this photo of Shawn tenderly holding his granddaughter Ruth. A bit later, she grabbed his beard with both hands, pulled hard and wouldn’t let go (Ruthie, not Suzanne). Shawn was less than amused, but what’s a grandpa to do except suck it up? “Hey, you’re a Mountain Man! Don’t whine!” 

While walking our puppies in downtown Whitefish, Montana, we came across this priceless advertisement for a local pub's favorite gastronomic delight. The three of us were very thirsty, but did we get to go in and sample the soup? What do you think? (Right, My Lovely Bride reminded me that both Rudy and Gretchen are under age... sigh.)

Our last event in Whitefish was a pizza party in The Coach on Friday night. Joining us were Eleanor, Matthew and Jenny, a marathoner who is marketing director for Matthew's race timing company, www.competitivetiming.com. We had some terrific pizza, a private showing of the Messages of Hope documentary, talked a lot, and didn't want to look forward to leaving beautiful Montana and Glacier National Park tomorrow. But we will be moving on to Banff and Lake Louise on Saturday... "Hey, Suzanne, where did you put those passports? And are you sure Canadian Customs won't confiscate those six bottles of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay?" 

Chipmunk; Great Aunt Suzy; Elk Burgers? Down for 52!

On a recent bike ride, Suzanne caught this little fellow, a Yellow-pine chipmunk (Tamias amoenus) trying to abscond with this Igloo water jug. It hasn’t rained much here in recent weeks, and while he may have been thirsty, there was a creek not too distant. This water source was closer, and also proximate to humans who might give him (her?) a free handout. Western chipmunks eat mostly seeds, fruits and nuts, and do not hibernate in winter like their Eastern cousins. The word Tamias is Greek for treasurer, steward or housekeeper, referring to its habit of storing food for eating in winter when snows might keep it from foraging. 

We arrived in Whitefish, Montana, just outside Glacier National Park, where Suzanne’s nephew Matthew lives with His Lovely Wife Eleanor and Their Beautiful Daughters Olive (4) and Ruth (4 months). (Olive was away visiting with her grandmother during this photo-op.)

The girls are named after their great grandparents (Suzanne’s dad and mom) Oliver (Bill) and Ruthie Smeltzer. I guess that makes My Lovely Bride "Great-Aunt Suzy", snicker, snicker.... Smack! 

Eleanor and Matthew hosted a great pre-birthday dinner for Suzanne at their house in Whitefish. Here is Olive at dinner contemplating one of her favorite foods, a delicious all-beef hot dog. I can attest to its deliciousness, because I had two! Eleanor also made a fabulous zucchini bread birthday cake for Suzanne. The six candles on it made her feel like a kid again!

We also visited the weekly farmers’ market in Whitefish, which was very lively and full of unusual goodies. I was particularly fond of the elk brats (I had two, although My Lovely Bride helped me with the second... I guess her low-fat, low-cholesterol, healthy dinner selection wasn’t quite filling enough, and a Mountain Man’s elk brat had to fill the void, so to speak... 

We also had a nice hike up in Glacier National Park with Shawn, Eleanor's dad, who is a real Mountain Man! He hikes almost daily in the park among the grizzly bears, carries industrial size cans of bear spray, and talks to the bears with "Hello, Bear, I'm out here now!" while you're hiking so there aren't any surprise encounters of the unfortunate kind... 

Suzanne met her personal birthday goal of running 52 minutes (5+ miles), doing 52 situps and 52 pushups... and wearing out her poor aging husband... (anyone want to guess how old she is?)

I took My Beautiful Birthday Bride out to dinner tonight at the Whitefish Lake Golf Club Restaurant, and we had a delightful, delicious meal. Suzanne had the walleye on Egyptian cous cous with Kalamata olives, spinach and grape tomatoes. Your hungry correspondent had a very nice sirloin with horseradish potato pancakes, glazed carrots, little trees (broccoli), and some kind of squashed squash. Birthday Girl tried a new Chardonnay, and my Cabernet made up for the little trees. (Like President Bush, I have never had a food orgasm over broccoli.)